October 13, 2005
EBBP2 - Part 1: New Addictions
I'm going to get right to the jerky, people.
My EBBP2 benefactor was (lucky me), Jeanne from Cook Sister. When I opened her mailbox-shaped, sparkly gold package, I thought 'hmmm, I smell meat'. I quickly went for a brown plastic bag labeled "BILTONG".
I've seen jerky -- it comes in a stick, sold upright at the cash register. Slim Jim.
Right? Oh no ... THIS, this is no ordinary jerky (if I might borrow Jeanne's words).
This smells like beef; it looks like beef -- and most importantly, it IS real cuts of beef. The package says "Prime cuts of beef marinated in a unique blend of spices, dried, and sliced" and it delivers. I sat at my desk and ate steak from a bag, and was distracted by how good it was.
I'm surprised I haven't eaten the entire bag. I began rationing it but often found myself going back for "just one more piece." Like now. Mmmmm. I can't get enough of these thin cuts of meat and that wonderful smokey flavor. It is so easy to keep dipping into the bag. Addicting really. Confession: I've already gone and ordered some! (info: www.cruga.com)
Fruit Roll
It was bound to happen ... I've been a renegade for a few months now and I knew the jig would be up sooner or later. I was strolling with Benny down the tiniest of streets on the outskirts of munich and was ambushed by the dog police.
A young man who looked frighteningly like Adam Sandler approached me, holding up what appeared to be his library card. I thought he was selling something as he began to talk to me in German ... so I did what I usually do when I want to avoid talking to someone here -- I turned on my most-american, 100 mph English and apologize for not understanding German as I began to walk away.
He searched for some words in his wee brain and said "You leeve een myuneek?". Dumhead that I am, I said Yes. In a cracking voice, he showed me an official pamphlet and said "Ven you leeve een myuneek, you must to pay zis dog tex." I feigned ignorance ... and when he asked for my address so he could send me the proper forms, I oh so stupidly gave it to him (Hindsight. Argh). I blanked! I couldn't think of a fake address on the spot.
So I continued on my way and walked Benny, then came home and did what any Munich-dog-tax criminal would do. I tore into a fruit roll.
Jeanne generously sent me two to try -- mango and guava. Without looking it up on the internet, I don't really know what a guava is. So I went for it. The smell is tangy and appealing when you snip open the bag; I ripped off a strip and sunk my teeth in. MMM, thick and soft and super sweet ... and I knew I could be sure that THIS is how a guava tastes. I kept the roll at my desk while working and went on chewing ... the leathery texture was addicting. The more I ate, the more addicted I felt. I ate the whole roll in one sitting (Is that normal?!) and eyed the second one. I somehow managed to get control over myself -- I'm saving the mango for another day.
I swear that Jeanne set out to ruin me. Two items, two addictions. I am already looking for these fruit rolls online....
Next: Backtracking - And there were muffins...
